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Changing the Course of My Dreams  My
life is going to be full of adjusting and changing, but I
will never let CRPS stop me from living my life.
By Yvonne Larity
If we were to meet today, I would appear to be an average
teenager. I go out with friends, and participate in school
activities and sports. What you may fail to realize is that
every day I cope with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy
(RSD), also known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS).
I was diagnosed with RSDS in October of 2005, after a minor
sprain to my left ankle.
CRPS is a syndrome that causes extreme pain in a particular
body part due to miscommunication of the nervous system. Not
only are doctors not sure what causes CRPS, they are also
not sure of how to get rid of it. All theycan do is hope to
reduce the initial flare-up, then provide you with pain management
procedures.
To reduce the initial flare-up I had no choice but to go to
physical therapy three days a week for an hour and a half,
for four months. I could not even walk because the pain was
so excruciating. Unlike a fracture, immobilizing my left ankle
would have made this worse. The problem, however was, that
the more I moved my ankle the more painful it was. It was
like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Not only
did my physical therapist have to regulate the temperature
in my ankle (one of the symptoms of RSDS is a temperature
change in the area, and my ankle became ice cold) and desensitize
it, he also had to teach me how to walk again.
Walking had never been so difficult before. Due to the CRPS
I had no control or support of my ankle. Without the control
of my ankle, my foot just flopped around. For the first month
I was on crutches and needed a light weight brace to support
my ankle during school. When I was home, bound and determined
to get off crutches, I would take off the brace and walk while
dragging my foot and leaning on whatever furniture was closest
to me. After that month I was excited to be using only one
crutch and began to perfect a gimpy walk. I was so proud of
my gimp that I could not wait to show my physical therapist.
After working with this gimp for another month, it happened;
I was finally able to walk again! It is so hard to describe
the emotions that accompanied this! event b ecause I was still
in pain, but happy at the same time.
During this time I had to quit my job and I missed a tremendous
amount of school because I never knew how much pain each day
would bring. I could not judge whether to push myself through
the day in pain or let it rest and hope the next day would
be better. In addition there is no set healing time with CRPS,
so I could not even focus on a time frame the pain would end.
On top of this I was unable to try out for the indoor track
team. Missing the entire indoor track season was unbearably
devastating to me. I had recently recovered from a broken
femur, preventing me from running my whole sophomore year
and had been eagerly awaiting to return to my favorite sport.
As if that was not bad enough now I was faced with the reality
that I may never run again. I had been running since I was
10 years old and track was ME. In fact, my goal one day was
to be on the Olympic team. Running released everything on
my mind; I was in control and at that moment nothing else
mattered. It was just me, the track, and the mindset of pushing
myself to my ultimate limit.
CRPS has changed my goals significantly.
I am now faced with the challenge of accepting that this
will always be a part of me. Throughout the past year I have
discovered an inner strength I never knew I had. This strength
and determination is what pushed me to walk when my doctors
thought I should still be on crutches. This strength is still
with me everyday from the moment I get up as a reminder I
can overcome my CRPS. Although I have had to change my activities,
I have found I can still be active. I swim a couple days a
week to keep my ankle strong without inflicting pain. I also
now horseback ride competitively. I can not end this paragraph
of my life because it is not yet over and perhaps never will
be. All I know at this point is that my life is going to be
full of adjusting and changing, but I will never let it stop
me from living my life. |
